FRIEND
SARASIJ MAJUMDER
What is the meaning or definition of “FRIEND”?
‘Friendship’ is a deep and important relationship built on trust, selfless love, ignoring harmless but irritating faults and mutual understanding and respect. It can surpass blood relations because it is a relationship we choose to accept without any, repeat any strings attached. This bond connects hearts and minds of two or more persons and supports us through life’s ups and downs.
Friendship, in that way is a unique, and very precious relationship. Characteristics of this relationship is described below:
- Voluntary Relationship: This is the only relationship that you choose yourself.
- Selfless and unconditional: True friendship has no expectations or demands.
- Emotional support: It provides mental strength by being a companion in happiness and sorrow.
- Trust and Respect: This involves a deep understanding and respect for each other.
- Non-Blood Bond: It is not connected by blood, but by heart and mind. And the BOND is very strong! Unbreakable!!
In short, friendship is a relationship that brings happiness in life and becomes a support in every difficult time.
Scanning English Thesaurus, I have made the following acronym of the word ‘FRIEND’:
F – Faithful, Forgiving, Frank, Firm.
R – Rational, Reliable, Resourceful, Responsible.
I – Intelligent, Inspiring, Imaginative.
E – Encouraging, Entertaining, Ethical, Endearing.
N – Nice, Natural, Non-violent.
D – Decent, Dependable, Devoted.
The apt definition comes from ‘VISHNUGUPTA CHANAKYA’ of India, in the form of a ‘SHLOKAM’ composed in Sanskrit language reproduced below:
उत्सवे व्यसने चैव दुर्भिक्षे राष्ट्रविप्लवे ।
राजद्वारे श्मशाने च यतिष्ठति स वान्धवः ॥
Hindi Translation:
त्योहारों में, मुश्किलों में, अकाल में, देश के विद्रोह में।
जो राजा के दरवाज़े पर और कब्रिस्तान में खड़ा होता है, वह रिश्तेदार है||
English Translation:
In festivities, in adversity, in famine, in revolt of the nation,
He who stands at the gate of the king and in the graveyard is a relative.
Bengali Translation:
উৎসবে, আপদে, বিপদে, দুর্ভিক্ষে, এবং জাতির বিদ্রোহে।
যিনি কারাগারে, এবং শ্মশানে উপস্থিত থাকেন, তিনি ই বান্ধব।।
EXAMPLES OF वान्धवः (BANDHABA): Reference is ‘MANUSMRITI’.
- Brother
- Relative/Kin.
- Friend: (closest friends).
Criteria: The one who stays with you in all seasons of your life, till one of you is separated by death.
COMRADE is closest alternative to friend. The word comes from the Spanish/Portuguese CAMARADA, meaning “chamber mate” or roommate, suggesting closeness and shared living quarters.
A true Comrade shares the BULLET fired at you! Or so I taught, when I was part of ‘NAXAL MOVEMENT’.
If there is no ‘SIBLING’ rivalry but compassion only—a brother close to your age can easily become your best friend.
Etymology of ‘BANDHU/BANDHABA’ comes from “BANDHAN”, or TYEING.
Mother is best friend of Children; next best is Father.
Seldom, very seldom– wife can reach the status of friend.
Definition of ‘WIFE’—
गृहिणी सचिवः सखी मिथः प्रियशिष्या ललितकलाविधौ।
करुणाविमुखेन मृत्युना हरता त्वां वद किं न मे हृतम्॥
Source: Raghubangsham by Kalidasa. (Canto 8, Verse 67)
Translation (By Blogger): In above verse, King Aja laments the death of his beloved wife, Indumati. He asks, “O Indumati! By taking you away, what has the merciless Death not stolen from me? You were my housewife, my wise counselor, my dearest female companion, and my favourite pupil in the subject of fine arts.”
I agree with Kalidasa as that is the highest status a wife can reach in the life of a MAN.
In the EPIC-MAHABHARATA, Lord Krishna had two friends—SUDAMA the Brahmin, and Arjun—the KSHATRIYO. Study of their mutual relationship will give you an IDEA what is friendship.
Be careful—whom you think ‘FRIEND’, may be a cuckoo appeared during the springtime of your life, as warned by Rishi Bankimchandra. At the drop of rain—he will disappear! In my opinion, majority of Schoolmates, collegemates, and colleagues belong to this category.
In my life, at various stages, I was supported by several friends of mine.
But—those narratives will form a part of a separate book, presently lodged in my mind, Watson!
NOTE: In this digital age, a person possibly thinks the Smart Phone known as mobile phone is the best Friend! What a mental degradation! Less and less human association is harmful for development of mind, and to remain integrated with society.
